piercethecharts | dix-huit. [ RL with Kamina ]

dix-huit. [ RL with Kamina ]

[ She was losing control. She could feel herself losing it, that was the worst part, to know what was happening. That tight control she always had over herself-- not in the sense that she held back or hid things any more than a girl hides things, but in the sense that she always had a firm handle on who she was, where she was going, and how she was getting there-- that control had started crumbling in the taxi. She felt like she'd left pieces of it all over the library, overhearing what she had. As long as they didn't tell anyone, it would be fine. It would all be fine.

But she didn't feel fine, and she didn't feel like it would be fine. It was only half the illness; she felt that familiar lightheadedness and chills that came and went but always came again. But it was the desperation and hurt that kept her wandering the streets; desperation for what, she didn't know. (What the hurt was about, she knew all too well; Grace's words kept ringing in her ears.)

She'd never noticed her face on every screen. It had been part of the background, the general wallpaper of the world. But now everything was green and orange, and she didn't resent Ranka her success except she did, and she hated herself for it.

"Please come to my revenge live! This time, it's definitely happening!"

Sheryl didn't even have the self-possession to pull herself up onto the curb; she sank down to her knees on the street, too feverish and out of it now to even know if she was sobbing, or if she was just hallucinating in the rain. ]

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[ ...she's torn between fond amusement and disbelief at how short it took for him to turn into a stammering wreck ]

Honestly, Kamina, I love you, but sometimes you're just embarrassing.

[.........

wait a minute.

she just. and. but he.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I'm not embarrassing!

What, you can't take a little teasing now~?

No, it's--well, yeah, but--! [flummoxed beyond all reason, kamina is reduced to staring in disbelief.]

Ya mean it?

[ it had slipped out, but the fact it had slipped out so easily meant she wouldn't step back now. She wriggled out from his arms, turning to face him, clasping her hands behind her back ]

Girls don't say things like that they don't mean, you know.

[he didn't know at all, but he was willing to take this on good faith. no girl had ever said this to him. not out loud anyway. with yoko, he'd just known. they didn't have to say anything. even when he'd died and she'd come to the community, it was just picking back up where they'd barely begun to start.

and three times. it had never been enough to make her stay. remember. come back.

honestly? he was a little scared of what could happen. but it couldn't be worse than walking away from what was happening right now.

kamina turns and briefly kisses her with no hesitation. he pulls back, saying,] You'll get paid back 100 times over.

[ she rests her head against his chest; there isn't any teasing in her voice any more ]

You've done more than enough already, you know.

[ She's not used to feeling vulnerable; she doesn't like it. Just a week of it was unbalancing her enough. And because she was Sheryl, she pushed it down and pretended it wasn't there, but...

maybe if it was just one person, that was all right. ]

...I'm scared, Kamina.

[he hugs her around the shoulders.] 's okay, being scared. Lotsa people get scared. It's how you deal with it that makes you who you are.

[ she felt like she'd told someone that herself, once, but that wasn't important right now. She pulled him down by his shirt collar to kiss him firmly. Someone was here beside her; she wasn't alone. ]

[he kisses back with the same firmness. a pillar. a fort. a sturdy home. these are things he wants to be.

he wants to show her that she doesn't have to be alone.]

[ she's not showing any signs of stopping, nope. Food can definitely wait. ]

[what exactly is food. is it like kissing but not as awesome.]

[ sure, kamina. let's go with that.

She pulls away momentarily, not opening her eyes ] ...I don't want to have any regrets, so...

Whaddya mean, "regrets"?

[ she ducks her head so he won't see her blushing; her voice is sounding a little flustered, though ] That-- It's not the sort of thing girls say directly! Okay?

O...kay? [he places the back of his hand on her forehead] You're feelin' kinda hot and your face is red and your voice sounds funny. Do you got a fever?

[ KAMINA OH MY GOD CAN YOU NOT BE RETARDED FOR FIVE MINUTES AT A TIME ] No, I do not have a fever! Stop ruining the moment!

[NOPE] A moment? What are you talkin' about? Start making sense!

You are just-- just-- argh! [ she pounds her fists on his shoulder a few times, FEEL THIS FRUSTRATION!

okay clearly, she is going to have to take matters into her own hands. She had confused him, using words. Kamina was bad at words. So she took a step back to give herself room, and promptly pulled her shirt off over her head ]

[oh

oh god]

The fever you're not tellin' me about has made you go crazy!

[ this is the flattest, blankest stare you will ever receive, Kamina ]

...I'm going to bed.

[ STALKS OUT OF THE KITCHEN ]

[follows; what did he do] Hold up!

No! [ There is a much better use for her shirt than putting it back on. she throws it over her shoulder AT HIS FACE ]

[SMACKED IN THE FACE but he must persevere. onward!] But I wanna know what I did wrong!

[ she's not actually mad, but she's pretty darn embarrassed, which is manifesting itself in a sort of flustered anger. In the bedroom, she tosses herself on the bed and scurries under the duvet; as if it's the first time she's noticed she's in her bra, she pulls it up to her chin, glaring out at him ]

How come you're always such a boy except when you should be?

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