dix-huit. [ RL with Kamina ]

[piercethecharts]

[ She was losing control. She could feel herself losing it, that was the worst part, to know what was happening. That tight control she always had over herself-- not in the sense that she held back or hid things any more than a girl hides things, but in the sense that she always had a firm handle on who she was, where she was going, and how she was getting there-- that control had started crumbling in the taxi. She felt like she'd left pieces of it all over the library, overhearing what she had. As long as they didn't tell anyone, it would be fine. It would all be fine.

But she didn't feel fine, and she didn't feel like it would be fine. It was only half the illness; she felt that familiar lightheadedness and chills that came and went but always came again. But it was the desperation and hurt that kept her wandering the streets; desperation for what, she didn't know. (What the hurt was about, she knew all too well; Grace's words kept ringing in her ears.)

She'd never noticed her face on every screen. It had been part of the background, the general wallpaper of the world. But now everything was green and orange, and she didn't resent Ranka her success except she did, and she hated herself for it.

"Please come to my revenge live! This time, it's definitely happening!"

Sheryl didn't even have the self-possession to pull herself up onto the curb; she sank down to her knees on the street, too feverish and out of it now to even know if she was sobbing, or if she was just hallucinating in the rain. ]

Comments

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

[he is nothing but a classy gentleman; good day, madam. and sit he does, wrapping an arm around her waist.] You feel a little better?

[piercethecharts]

[ she doesn't respond directly, but leans her head onto his shoulder ]

I have to stay now, you know. You won't be able to find me, otherwise. I threw my phone under a truck.

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

[completely deadpan.] ...that explains a lot. Eh, whatever. I don't care if you stay.

[piercethecharts]

...Can I?

[ it's said in an uncharacteristically small voice; Sheryl's used to demanding things or stating things, not asking for things. And while she knows he meant that it wasn't a bother for her to stay, she somehow wants him to say more than that he doesn't care ]

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

[that moment hurt more than watching her cry.

kamina holds her a little tighter, kisses her temple.] You think I wouldn't want you here? What kinda man would let somebody he cares about be alone?

[piercethecharts]

[ She closes her eyes, settling into the crook of his arm. She wants to ask how he found her, why he knew what was happening; but as she curls up, the most inane question comes to mind, and that's the one that wins. She doesn't want to discuss anything that happened before she got here, not ever. And so she says what's on her mind as the most pressing, immediate concern that has nothing to do with anything remotely deep or painful. ]

...Kamina, why aren't I wearing a bra?

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

I didn't do it! [must cover tracks to save skin must oh my god] I asked some girls on the community to come over and get you out of your wet clothes and Chibiusa taught me how to use the washer and dryer! So I never saw anything! [...unfortunately.]

[piercethecharts]

[ she actually smiles a bit at that, although whether or not he can see it is debatable. She doesn't much feel like getting high and mighty about it, or dancing around the point, saying things like "That's right, I don't give that service lightly!" or "Ohh, weren't you even tempted~?" so he gets an unusually blunt answer ] You've had your hands up my shirt, remember? You get bonus points for thoughtfulness, but in a situation like that, it's fine.

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

Really? Huh. [ to be honest, he'd been so worried that it never occurred to him that she might not have had a problem with it. at least she said he'd been thoughtful. that was a plus.] 's not like you're gonna do anything like that again, but I'll remember.

[piercethecharts]

That's right, I won't. [ It's clear she's trying to talk with her usual confidence, but it comes out sounding a little uncertain and flat ]

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

[his eyebrows knitting together are the only outward signs of worry, and even that is quickly brushed away. it was time to be a rock of support. that was what he was best at anyway. he decides to tease in an attempt to cheer her up,] You better not 'cause I ain't runnin' out there in the rain looking for you.

[piercethecharts]

Really? I don't know, Kamina... it's hard to deny the evidence. [ her mind is still vacillating between wanting to depend on him utterly and wanting to show him she's perfectly fine, but she can tell he's trying to cheer her up with banter, and she appreciates that even more than him holding her ]

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

This was the one time! [he punctuates the claim by holding up the appropriate number of fingers.] And that's it! You try it again, all 'm doing is handing you an umbrella and going back inside!

[piercethecharts]

If you hand me an umbrella, I'm throwing it at you.

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

Not if I made it back inside first.

[piercethecharts]

I'll throw it through the door.

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

...betcha could do that.

[piercethecharts]

I could. I'm Sheryl Nome, remember? [ whatever happens, hold onto that ]

[aburningspirit.livejournal.com]

[something was missing from that sentence. the usual drive and force, the confidence, herself. all he can do is help her hold on.] Yeah, you are.

[piercethecharts]

...I think I'd like to take another nap.